Starting Again

I thought I had a plan for sustaining my journey of growth locked in for a good part of last year, and for about 5 months, I did a great job.  But like many other times in my life, sustaining a rigorous pace of such things as twice daily meditation, the temptation to fall off the wagon got the best of me.

When I went to Paris in October for two weeks, focusing on my personal growth seemed the farthest thing of interest to me.  I had cheese to eat, wine to drink, sights to see and time to spend with my budding opera singer to be daughter.  Meditation seemed so dull in contrast to all of this and who wants dull on a vacation?

It’s now January 4 and just today, I rebooted my daily practice….. I started again. With no drama about why I stopped, or what effort it might take to start back up.  I just decided that having a daily practice to be reflective, empty, peaceful was worth it for 5 months and could even get sweeter over time if I started again.  My yogi teachers say, “there is always more.”

My meditation teacher says we find our path because we are seekers, but we also are finders when we reap the rewards of what put into a daily practice – sometimes slowly, sometimes in big ways.  Mostly it’s slow though, from my personal experience, and those I am on the journey with.

I realize now looking back, I experienced a profound sense of well being when I was doing a daily growth practice.  There were changes going on in my personal and professional life from spring through fall like never before,   Yet, my usual pattern of reacting to the highs and lows of change which are usually like a riding a roller coaster, just wasn’t happening.  I felt steady in the face of challenges like never before in a way that really surprised me.

I kept waiting for the familiar patterns of melancholy over losses, fears about future what ifs, and sporadic sustainability of healthy habits of diet and exercise to overcome me.  But they didn’t.  My buttons just didn’t get pushed as much.  My husband often commented on this observable difference.

Yet, I fell off the wagon.  And now I am climbing back on.  I actually signed up for a 28 day intensive coaching course to support me in developing my daily practice of growth and transformation.  I believe in coaching (of course!) and being the coachee at times in my life has always served me well personally and makes me better at serving my clients.

Day 3 into the process, so far so good!  Feels good to be back on the journey. The sun keeps rising every day and so shall I!